You can be the parent you have always dreamed of. You can be a heart-centered parent, connect with yourself, your teen and those around you. We are here to support you every step of the way. You can learn more about heart-centered parenting, have your questions answered, and hear from Vive’s Mentors and Parent Coaches by subscribing to Vive News Now.

We want to hear from you whether you are a seasoned veteran with Chaos to Connection or you are just starting out and wondering where to begin. What are your questions, concerns, and fears about heart-centered parenting and the essentials? How has heart-centered parenting impacted your life and your relationship with your teen? Share your story here.

Vive has worked with thousands of families and many resemble yours. Originally a small company started over 10 years ago, Vive now has many passionate, very experienced practitioners working with families in communities across the country. The essentials of the Vive model – the heart-centered parenting fundamentals of Chaos to Connection – were developed through these practitioners' extensive experience in healing and strengthening families. We created Chaos to Connection to share the parenting fundamentals with many more families, especially yours, so that you and your family can thrive. 

In Start Here, the creators of Chaos to Connection explain how the program works and walk through how to get started step-by-step. We encourage you to really dive into heart-centered parenting, to read through the book to get a foundation in the essentials, use the personal practices throughout the book to get a deeper understanding, and watch the films to see the essentials in real life situations. Whether you have a teen struggling with getting through school, becoming a responsible young adult, drugs and alcohol, getting home each night, cutting, or defiance, Chaos to Connection’s nine heart-centered essentials will help you in parenting your teen.

The Chaos to Connection concepts are new and groundbreaking, but they are also proven and entirely doable. Many families, just like yours, have used the nine heart-centered essentials to move from chaos to connecting. The Chaos to Connection book and short films give you the keys to using the concepts in your home. You have everything you need to start parenting from the heart! Parents like you are using heart-centered parenting with their teens and their experience is encouraging. Our parents are saying:

“Why didn’t anyone tell us about this years ago? We were told that setting consequences and punishing our child was the only way to get them to behave. If only we had known this earlier, we could have been with our child in a more loving way.”

“We were afraid that the damage had been done and that nothing could remedy all the hurt and pain caused over the years.”

“It is really scary, at first, to let go of conventional parenting, and yet the first time we were open and vulnerable with our daughter, it was beyond amazing. For the first time in years, we saw a door open to both of our hearts.”

“This feels like a lot of work and yet it is the first work that feels so ‘right’ to our hearts.”

“Working on ourselves never felt like an option, since we thought we were supposed to help our child. Learning that our state of being affects them so deeply has been a real eye opener and has given us back the ‘power’ inside to shift our own situation.”

Heart-centered parenting is unlike conventional parenting, focusing on the parent and teen relationship rather than on behavior. Questions about heart-centered parenting are expected. Often parents ask:

• Isn’t this type of parenting too permissive? How is my teen going behave and fit into the “real world” if I’m not teaching him at home?

When children are held in a heart-centered way and are able to be seen, heard and validated for who they are in their families, they move toward connection, responsible behavior and knowing how to act in the real world. When they are in contact with their heart and openness they reach out. You can likely relate to this. When you are feeling loving and open inside, you are more likely to reach out, open up and connect with others in a responsible way. Teens who feel loved, supported, and connected to their family have their own internal guidance that will direct their behavior. Parents who feel the need to control their child’s behavior are usually in a closed and fearful state and can’t see that their children, when supported, choose the “appropriate behavior.”

• What do I do when other people judge me for “giving in” and not making my child behave?

When you first start using heart-centered parenting, you may be very uncomfortable with other peoples’ judgments. Remember, they are basing these judgments on how they were parented or what is the “norm” in our culture, which is to punish and give consequences for behavior instead of valuing relationship above all else. If you are still sitting on the fence about using heart-centered parenting, you will find yourself trying to defend and justify your actions. If this happens, take time to question your own judgments and try not to “give in” to them without really trying heart-centered parenting and finding out if this heart-centered parenting is for you and your teen. When you become confident in heart-centered parenting, you will be able to “smile” inside every time someone misunderstands how you are parenting. Remember you’ve been there yourself!

• When I think about trying this I can imagine my teen saying “stop using that therapy stuff on me.” How do I make an authentic connection that my teen can also connect with?

At first, when using heart-centered parenting, your teen may very well be suspicious. Remember, they are use to connecting with you in a negative way. Through such connection, one person always has to be right and the other wrong. As you shift out of connecting this way, your teen may try to re-engage with the old pattern – rejecting or challenging your stance – because it is familiar. She may or may not want to shift her own pattern of connection. When you are challenged, remember that you are parenting in a heart-centered way to create connection, not to control your teen. The more you can let go of needing your teen to “get it” that you are connecting in a new way, the more you will be able to hold your loving presence. Then, be open to what happens in relationship to your teen.