6 Weeks to Like Your Troubled Teen Again
Action Therapy
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November 9, 2006
Action Therapy
Introduction
As a therapist and a high school teacher, I always found it odd that our attempts to teach kids how to deal with all the motion, chaos and juggling of adult life take place in contexts that require extensive sitting. In the classroom and the therapist's office, learning and growth can remain theoretical and abstract. It's in the real world, I believe, that the most important and lasting changes take place, because that's where the action is! It's where life really happens.
That's why I finally left the confines of classroom and the therapist's office to do work with kids in their real world environment. It's in the real world that their problems lie in wait for them, ready to push them off balance, derail their best efforts at change, and remind them of their limitations. Vive! uses Action Therapy with our clients, engaging the real problems of day to day life as opportunities for learning, problem solving, and ongoing growth. With the real world as our laboratory, we have the opportunity to conduct lots of little--and sometimes big--life experiments. These experiments are what we call Action Therapy; it's the process of controlled risk-taking that allows kids to find their own way through a guided, supported, encouraged process of trial and error. To give you a feel for how action therapy works, I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine--one of my first clients at Vive! (then called Confident Living) by the name of Jackson Rodriguez. This is a true story of a real client with details changed to protect his identity. I'm very proud of Jackson. His is a story of Action Therapy in, well, action.
Continue reading "Action Therapy" »
November 22, 2006
6 Weeks to Like Your Troubled Teen Again
Here's an idea we use to help your teen to get back on track. This is one of the first recommendations we give to parents when we know they love their child, but really don't like their troubled teen.
Try this for 6 weeks:
1. Once a week on the same day, same time (and you have to hold to it) put your cell phones away and commit to an activity with your kid.
2. Take turns picking what the activity is.
3. Teen gets first pick.
Examples:
Dinner, going out for a meal
Sporting Event
Movie
Okay.
This is a time to be completely in the moment, not a time to get on your kid's case about ANYTHING. The reason for not getting on their case about drugs, behavior, grades, curfew is that you need the space to create a trusting envirnoment where your kid feels safe in opening up.
Commit to the 6 weeks.
Yes, it will feel awkward. Yes the kid will complain. BUT, after six weeks you'll begin to like your kid again.
Commit to it. Commit to it. Commit to it.
Would love for you to post comments about your experiences with this approach.
I want to talk to a Vive! professional right now!
Call - 800.261.0127
